Dear Toothpaste Companies,
I can not understand your business. For starters, what’s the difference between all of your toothpastes? There’s fluoride, cavity protection, whitening, mint stripe, mint strips, advanced clean, antigingivitis, advanced fresh, oxygen bubbles, bright strips, minty sparkle, and enamel strength varieties. How on earth am I suppose to choose what to do with my teeth? And I haven’t even mentioned the different FLAVORS you have!
Should I sacrifice cavity protection in order to strengthen my enamel? What’s the difference between mint strips and mint stripes – besides the letter “e”? By touting a tube as advanced clean, aren’t you implying that all the other brands are not as good cleaners as the namesake? What’s a consumer to do?
But even more perplexing, is your seemingly bizarre system of sizing. Please reveal your secret code. Tell me your methodology in tubing your pastes. Sure 6.0 ounces makes sense, it’s a nice round number. But 5.8 oz.? Why sell a tube for .2 ounces less? Then there’s 7.6 oz. Not 7.0, 7.5 or even 8.0. I can buy toothpaste for 4.0, 4.6, 7.2, or even a gigantic 8.2 ounces. There’s no rhyme or reason.
What’s the standard? Where did it come from? Why is it so random? What’s the meaning of it all? Numerologists help me out! The ONLY standard number society has collectively accepted for toiletries is 3.4. Why? Where? It’s the largest size allowed for traveling in carry-on baggage. When any traveler purchases personal care items for traveling, the first thing they look at is size. Yet the most easily remembered number, the benchmark for all other sizes is absent from the shelf.
Instead, I’m forced to buy toothpaste that is 1.8 oz. or a pitiful .7 oz. Maybe, depending on the store’s selection, I might be able to find a 2.7 oz. tube. But 3.4 oz…nope. It’s a mythical size that exists only in our imagination. Now I’m forced to purchase multiple 2.7 ounce tubes in order to get the amount I need for my weekend away from home. Or, I could purchase a dozen .7 oz. tubes. But that creates an excess of waste and I’d have more fun flushing my money away. Your smaller sizes are never a better a value – and I think you know that.
Dear Colgate, Crest, Aquafresh and no name brand producers, make me a tube of toothpaste that I can carry on a plane AND that will last me my whole trip. I’m tired of having to go to the store every time I have to fly because I can’t take your monster 8.2 oz tube on the plane. And don’t go trying to blame the TSA. This is America. Capitalism at it’s finest. Seize the opportunity. I dare you. Make a tube that’s 3.4 ounces. I’ll be the first to buy it. And so will the millions of other travelers. Who will be the first? Proctor and Gamble, will it be you? Or will GlaxoSmithKline beat you to it?
Writing with minty fresh breath (but with no cavity protection),
Benjamin Reed – adventureswithben.com
P.S. To all you readers out there, if this irritates you, just as much as it irritates me, please spread the word. Share this letter in facebook. Send the link out on twitter. Use the “share this” button on this post. Send everyone back to this post and share your comments. Maybe, together, we can change the world and buy travel-friendly, travel-hefty toothpaste tubes of 3.4oz (100ml).
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They do make a perfect travel sized tube. It’s .8 ounces and measures only 4.5 inches in length. They are usually found in the toothpaste or the little travel section at Walmart. Most pharmacies also carry them. They’re sample size and we give them out daily to our patients. Sorry to have made your entire rant now seem unnecessary but they’ve been making these for several years now!
As to the various ingredients and types of paste, each one is similar but different. The whitening and brightening ones have a gritty abrasive that acts as sandpaper to remove stains BUT they cause sensitivity by doing so. The sensitive protection provide a layer of desensitizers to help reduce the amount of sensitivity. Some have more fluoride to protect the teeth from cavities and to help prevent sensitivity as well. We always recommend just a plain ol fluoride toothpaste with no gimmicks. Sensodyne ProNamel is a very good toothpaste! Message me and I will send you a few tubes to use for your travels!
Hey, thanks so much for the comment. But I disagree on your first point. Why make a .8 ounce tube when you can make a 3.0 ounce tube. Why must I buy several tubes 3 tubes of .8 ounces in order to (almost) get the same amount of a 3.0 ounce tube. It makes no sense whatsoever. I want something that would last more than a week’s trip – if that.
As to your second point, I have not heard toothpaste explained like that before. Thanks for the clarification! I’ll send you an e-mail.
Michael – you raise an interesting perspective. Hmmmm. lol
I believe that there is collusion and potential anti trust case here. It’s obvious that the major toothpaste manufactures have made a pact not to package a 3.4 oz size to reap additional profits from travelers. Class Action Suite would be an attention getter!
It is so annoying. If you check your bag it’s different. But with all the baggage fees, more people are carrying their bags on. The law allows no greater than 3.4 oz. Make the maximum that the law allows and travelers will buy that stuff like it was going out of style. What’s the deal? This is poor “design”. It’s a “hassle” hahaha
This is great. Funny yet right-on. Reminds me of the scene in “Father of the Bride” when he just wants to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns. The sad part about this Ben, is that it is “by design”!!!!