Traveling Like a Rock Star

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That’s my plane right there. I’ve traveled on enough trips that I have cashed in my frequent flier miles to purchase my own aircraft.

Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. While I do have a lot of miles (184,000 just on Delta), I don’t have my own airplane. But I like to pretend that I do. You see, I don’t especially enjoy flying in small aircraft. It’s not that they are unsafe it’s that:

• Small planes have small seats
• I can’t put my luggage in the overhead bin, which means I have to check it (and Delta broke my suitcase last time that happened with no compensation or apology)
• Small planes are noisy
• Small planes have no leg room
• Small planes just stink

I’ve flown on a lot of small planes in the past year. I didn’t think people actually did that anymore either. Growing up I always flew out of Providence, Rhode Island (PVD), on direct flights to big cities. I always flew on big planes. Now that I travel a lot for business, and travel to smaller airports, I end up flying smaller planes.

Flying in a smaller plane takes some getting used to for the reasons I mentioned above. But I’ve found a secret. Each time I fly the little planes, I pretend I’m a celebrity. Celebrities fly around in their private jets all the time. So here’s how to do it to make those puddle jumpers more tolerable.

Step 1: Strut on the tarmac, let the wind blow through your hair as you walk towards the plane. It’s your runway (but not the kind that planes take off on).

Step 2: Before boarding look back at the little people and stare vacantly into the sky behind them.

Step 3: Read something on the plane and look out the window. If you really want to play the part, bring an issue of Vanity Fair.

Step 4: Before stepping down the aircraft steps when deplaning, put on your sunglasses (and hold everyone up behind you as you do this), then walk towards the baggage claim with a purpose. Look like you’ve done this before.

Step 5: Don’t wear your bag over your shoulder. Always carry your laptop bag, purse, etc. Celebrities don’t want to spoil their wardrobe.

Step 6: Use your imagination and pretend that you are on your way to a big, important photo shoot or talk show taping.

Now isn’t that more fun than just sitting in the sardine can? If you’ve never flown on a little plane before, here’s what it is like. This aircraft is a Bombardier Q400.

Now get out there you jet setter you, and show those other passengers who’s boss!

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